Being a parent is a privilege and the ultimate ‘rezeki’ from God. They are the future worth sacrificing for. As Tan Sri Rafidah Aziz agrees that society should not mourn mom’s departure from her CEO post but salute her instead because she’s giving a part of herself to generating five, six adults-to-be in a society who could be useful to us (The Malaysian Insider). However, knowing hundred percent that you are ready to be parents is the question that plagues every 30-something couple as the biological clock starts ticking loudly.
Will We Make Good Parents?
Questioning our ability as a parent is the biggest most earth shattering question for any parent-to-be. While we would like to point the finger in fear at our spouse’s bad habits that will affect the ‘good-parent’ prospect, the soul crushing truth is whether I will be a good parent? Real life is no Thai tear-jerking commercial. Just make sure the child is not the band aid solution to improving the relationship!
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Plans to expand one’s family and ensuring quality of life should come hand in hand no doubt. Kids definitely cramp your style! No one wants to resent that bundle of joy for everything that you have to give up. Maybe a lifestyle readiness checklist will help in a practical way?
Is Our Relationship Strong Enough?
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Many fail to discuss the big questions before embarking on this parenthood journey. While for some the start might come unexpectedly, the questions still remain. Having the discussion will certainly alleviate stress & worry about living situations (Do we have a good support system? Should we move in with in-laws/mom & dad?), mental & body changes (Will the changes be too much to endure?) and how you would like to raise the kids (Public or private school?).
Take the time to read this very real guide for mom & dad before embarking on this journey.
How Will It Affect Our Career?
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Often parents can get quite judgemental but every family must make the right choice that’s right for them. It is definitely ok to drop out after having reached a certain level, because she’s reached her ultimate level of contentment and would like to divert all energy to nurturing her children, so be it. – The Malaysian Insider
Good news too…fathers get an extra bonus career wise as they are a more desirable candidate for jobs. They are more likely to be hired than childless men, and tend to be paid more after they have children.
On the other hand, waiting too long for after the career takes off might not be a good idea too as pregnancy risks increases.
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Not the mention, the percentage of Malaysian men with erectile dysfunction (ED) is quite high at 47% for men above 40 years of age (Free Malaysia Today).
However, if mom decides to keep with her career path, there is also much sacrifice with having to let go to a maid or relative and sometimes missing out on important firsts.
But the questions will still keep invading your mind, no matter what, so one thing that every parent out there will reassure you confidently is that “You will always find a way to make it all work!”. Why not take the time to check out what your style of parenting is and see if it is compatible with your spouse?